It's all in the numbers.

Number of times I've sent children back to bed this morning before 9am: 4. One didn't get sent back, one got sent twice.
Number of times I get told I have my hands full when we go grocery shopping (on average, no lie): 6.
Number of kisses I get in a day (from children under 6): 30
Number of kisses I get from Blaine in a day: usually less than 30. :)
Number of laundry loads I do in a week: 6-8.
Number of times I sweep the kitchen in a week: 10.
Number of times I wipe pee off the wall/floor/potty chair/sink and other random places Sterling manages to hit in a day: 6.
Strangest place Sterling managed to hit in the last week: It's a toss up between the back of Dad and Mom's bathroom door and their bathroom vanity. And yes, the door was open when he hit it, and yes, it did make the door close. I'm almost impressed. Almost. Pretty sure Mom wasn't even close to being impressed.
Yes, Sterling is potty trained. All of the places he hits (or almost always. We'll allow for the rare accident.) are from the potty chair or the toilet. Any minute now he'll develop a sense of aim - but I'm not holding my breath.
Number of times I yell "Ruby Alexandra!" in an hour: 5-10. Unless she's sleeping - then I get a blessed reprieve. Ruby needs to learn to take longer naps before I go hoarse.
Number of times I've been told my hands were full by a stranger when I didn't have all of my children with me: I lost count. 25+. I don't even tell them what they are missing anymore.

Our house is roughly 900 square feet. That's 150 per person, if it were divided evenly. Yet, I rarely get more than 2 square feet around me - and if I try to cross out of those 2, I trip over someone. Why is that? Sadder still, why did I have to hunt down a calculator to figure out 900/6?

The look on the lady's face at Walmart yesterday when she asked Liberty if they were all brother and sisters, Liberty said yes, then Liberty told me that we need more boys for Sterling and I said maybe someday? Absolutely priceless. Shocked, slightly disgusted, and absolutely hilarious. Apparently she thought I hadn't had them all on purpose. Really now.

Fun times, for sure.

Home again. :) We spent the last week in South Dakota at my parents. Blaine stayed home to work and a friend and I ventured north. I left my friend in Iowa with her family and continued on, spending Mon-Sat with my parents. The kids had a blast. Notice all the photos here? Yep, I took so many I can't even stand it. Seriously. My camera never made it out of it's bag. Nice.

We hit one fairly impressive snow storm in the top of MO, saw a lot of vehicles in the ditch, and thankfully drove (35 mph) out of it just before hitting Iowa. I'm not certain if no snow while in South Dakota is a disappointment or not. Sterling freaked out when we stopped during the snow storm on the way there - the snow was apparently attacking him. I rather hoped he'd get to play in it a bit once in SD, but it was beautiful. I guess I can't complain about that!

We went to visit my grandmother there. Grandma was a nurse (still is, I imagine!) and had a photo of herself in her uniform, taken some 60 years ago. She asked Eden if she still looked like that, and Eden told her "No, because you're old now.". Oh, dear. I'm not certain if Grandma was offended or not. But really, why is our age offensive? I'm still pondering that one.

I brought home a bike for Liberty from my parents. I strapped it to the roof rack - something Blaine's used for bikes many times. It took 4 hours and 4 stops to get the straps to stop making so much noise. I was starting to debate the "leave the bike somewhere along the way for some needy soul who finds road noise at deafening decibels tolerable" option before I finally managed to quiet things down up there a bit. I found myself holding my breath as we pulled away from the rest area, waiting for the wind to hit it. The pitch it screeched changed with each stop and attempted silencing, but finally it quit. It did keep trying off and on all the way home though. Seriously. Arriving in Springfield and turning my van off brought blessed silence - until I realized my ears were still screeching along to perfect rhythm. Somebody shoot me.

Blaine's sister and her family are coming for Thanksgiving - arriving sometime tomorrow, I think. She said my messy house didn't matter, but I'm thinking they'd appreciate not having to wade through the animal crackers and rice crispies on the kitchen floor - or the luggage in the living room - or the laundry in the laundry room. Tomorrow's gonna be fun. Oh, and food in the house might be good too. Yep, gonna be a blast. I'm starting to think Liberty and Eden need to start Thanksgiving's school break a day early.

Old Man Pants, Bandaids, and more, at a store near you.

Ah, it's been too long. I know.

The weather here, I must say, is beautiful. 70+ degree days makes for happy kids outside - which makes for one happy momma. It's hard to remember it's November.

This week is a crazy one. Appointments all week, Sunday dinner for the church at our house, then Monday morning the kids and I are headed north to visit my parents for the week. I can't sleep, I've confused days a few times, panicked when I thought I overlapped appointments, and then found one day trying to decide what to do. Company coming, but not for a few more days - cleaning is a pointless venture. The menu's planned, too soon to buy groceries... so I gave Sterling a haircut. I went a little crazy I think, he's looking considerably balder than before I started, but he declared himself "pretty" so it's all good!

Today I had a doctor appointment. Without sharing too many details, let me just say - sometimes, they just don't get it. "Wouldn't that just mask the symptoms?" "Well, yes, but that would be ok, right?" Uh, no, I don't want a bandaid, I want a cause - or just say you don't know, that would work too! Really now. That was a mostly pointless two hour wait.

Ruby. Dear, dear Ruby. Stay tuned for an auction for the highest bidder... "Get out of the cabinet. Don't eat that! Don't rip that! Get down from there! That wasn't supposed to go in the garbage. That hair's attached - and I'd rather keep it attached! STOP IT!" She, of course, looks at me like I've grown a third eye and keeps on keeping on until I physically stop her - then she gets mad. Very, very mad. Look out, she's trouble and giving me a run for my money. Sterling has a foam fish the Bass Pro store guy gave him when we returned Blaine's old man pants - stay tuned for that story too. The foam fish though - he's had his tail glued back on 5 times. Ruby likes to eat fish tails.

And, the old man pants. Bass Pro has an outlet store. They put the catalog props/clothes in there, among other things. Nice stuff, some quite cheap. I found a pair of jeans for Blaine in there for $10. His size is apparently slightly unusual, thus hard to find. Thrilled to find his size, I confirmed the return policy and got them for him. Blaine tried them on that night, emerging from the bedroom with a "Uh, these are old man pants." Old man pants. Old man pants?! Do they really make old man pants? Old lady pants, sure. They are polyester and sit neatly just below the boobs. But in jeans - for men? These were my thoughts as Blaine rounded the corner. I just about cried, I laughed so hard. They had a built in "spare tire below the belt" pouch - for a 30 inch waist. With no tire to spare, Blaine looked like, well, an old man. Less the gut. But hey, we got a free foam fish out of the deal.

Some things you just never think about - until they happen.

I've never "taught" any of my children to dress themselves. The just did it. Until now. Sterling, at the ripe old age of nearly two and a half, needs to learn this. Clothes, in his opinion, are meant to be worn until they wear off. He loves whatever he has on, most certainly does not want to change, and will protest if you make him. He's recently figured out how to put his shoes on, so I figured we'd take this a step further. The girls were changing their clothes multiple times a day at two, just for the fun of a cute new outfit. Sterling, not so much.

We started with pants, and he's worn jeans backwards often these days, but darn it, he did it himself. Socks were today's new item. He put one on quite successfully, put the second on rather crooked, and asked for help. I started straightening it when I realized he'd put the second sock over the first. Really?! Ah, we haven't progressed in this whole learning process quite as far as I thought. His underwear are beautifully backwards though - and his shoes happened to land on the right feet today.

I decided three nights ago that it was about time for little Miss Ruby to sleep through the night. I've allowed midnight nursings (and 2:00, and 4:00...) to last far too long. I moved Sterling's bed into Liberty and Eden's, woke Ruby up before I went to bed for a last feeding, and put her to bed feeling like I might just cry along with her at 2:00 am. She didn't wake until 4:20, I had to put her back in bed 4 times, but each time she only cried for a few seconds. It was strangely disappointing - Ruby has far more persistence than that! But all was good, and I was the only one laying wide awake, feeling the evidence of missing 4 nursings during the night!



The second night was even better - I had to put her back twice - I think. My brain doesn't remember that far back. It is pitiful when she comes wandering into my room at some random wee hour, little fists signing "milk" for all they are worth, and I deny her - but she takes it better than I dreamed possible.

Last night, I told her once to go back to sleep. Awesome. I actually slept most of the night without waking up. It's been, oh, a year and a half since that last happened. Sterling went back into his own bedroom, and nights have been reclaimed for sleep in our house. Beautiful.

Blaine's working at Bass Pro Shops in the "Creative Services" department. He helps set up products to be photographed. He's not actually touching a camera these days, painful for him, but at least it's in the right field - and a paycheck to boot. Yesterday he came home with a big blister on his hand - he'd steamed clothes for hours and apparently decided his finger was also a bit wrinkled. Ouch. He said he'd told his co-workers not to tell me that he can iron. He hasn't ironed in seven years. I told him neither had I! Not quite, but close. Wrinkles add character, right?

The work of a master.

Sterling wanted bread the other day. Blaine was eating some with his soup, and Sterling wanted two pieces. He was pretty direct about the two pieces part. This is what Blaine found a few minutes later...



Closer still....

Ah, yes. One hotdog still-in-the-package sandwich. Mmmmm.

Mom?

"Mom, that sign says people who smoke can't shop in this store."

"Um, not exactly Eden. They can shop here. They just can't smoke inside while they are shopping."

"Oh. Do they know how to stop smoking for a few minutes while they get the things they need?"

"Oh, baby, I sure hope so!"

Turns out, the earth is round.

Did you know? It's impossible to fall off the face of the earth. The internet, however, is flat, and there's a curb. It's possible to disappear in these parts. Somewhere between laundry, dishes, school, chasing after Ruby the Terror and Sterling with his Bare Bottom, I got lost on my way back to the blog. So sorry.

And thus, an update is required.

This is Ruby's new look:
It's been building for a few weeks - these days, she doesn't crawl, she walks. Or at least, she doesn't crawl unless I'm trying to get photos. It took 10 minutes, a belly crawl on the floor (my belly-crawl, mind you - now that's something for photos!), Blaine and Liberty's coaxing, and 12 deleted photos before she finally showed off. Seriously, this one is just out to make my life harder. Oh, and the one side pony? She pulled the other out and tried to eat the band. Mmmm.
This is Sterling's favorite look. He's just out to relax and take life as easy as he can. Like the strategically placed bowl? Me too. Unintentional, and when he's 16 he'll wish he'd grabbed a bigger bowl, just for show. This is Sterling's new ball. It's about, oh, 6 hours old. An hour in, Ruby had three bites eaten and Sterling asked for bandaids for his new ball's owies. Fair enough. I told you Ruby's trouble.

She looks all but evil. Cute, but evil. She stole Liberty's hat quite cleverly, and wore it and giggled while Liberty searched for it. Liberty thought I'd hidden it and ran past Ruby a half a dozen times before she realized Ruby was wearing it. Ruby was in stitches she thought it was so funny.


This was yesterday, pumpkin picking with friends. The kids had a blast! It was definitely easier than last year's escapade. That one included a hayride, two babies not walking, an hour long corn maze, and me trying to carry three pumpkins, deciding that despite paying for four pumpkins, we were NOT getting four, because that meant me carrying two babies, four pumpkins and a camera that failed to capture photos of the dreaded pumpkin patch because, well, I lacked a free hand for that. This one was definitely less stressful.
Ruby, though, might have disagreed before it was all over with.
That's about it for news. Blaine's job search continues, school is going great but taking up more of our day than I would like, the house contains nine unpacked boxes, each containing Blaine's camera/work stuff, so I'm calling us unpacked. The garage doesn't count, does it?

We found a new pediatrician that I love thus far, I get lost less and less around town, and south continues to be argued as east in my mind. I don't know why, but I'm spun 90 degrees. I thought I'd solve my directional challenge, bought a compass and found out that it doesn't always work. Don't contemplate that one too hard. Sometimes working, as far as a compass is concerned, is just as bad as not working ever. Who decides when it's working? If it stuck still, it'd be right 25% if the time, right? Yeah, I don't think so either.

My new favorite: Acorn Squash. Cut it in half lengthwise, put 1T maple syrup and 1T whipping cream or butter in each hollow (ditch the seeds/pulp) and bake at 350 for an hour. Mmm.


See ya!